my hidden amaranth

something rather awkward of me

2008-12-18T19:45:00.004+08:00

Hmmmm.....today was good...i think ><...hahax...haiz...the only thing missing now is my darling =(!!!!!she went of 2 days ago and she coming 24 dec..wow...9 days!!!ah..cant survive >.<..wat to do???haiz...miss her loads already!!!geez...went shopping today and i got myself a new hobby...buidling those gundams ><..jus bot two of them..but the small ones...u noe...im so missing os much that i kinda...called her name to sum other girl O_O..damn was so damn emberassing!!!i mistook her cos she look so much like my darling..the way she dressed and all...her hair..everyhting...the onli thing we stood out to show it wasnt my darling is well...she was taller...kinda...1.7???yeah..abt there...but still i mistook her for mine...haiz...everytime o look at my fone i will always view her pics and her number..tinking hw is she...i really hope she's enjoying herself..its so cold in shanghai nw...least i gt to talk to my jie today..she kinda did the trick n cheered me up..well a lil...nw im jus wating for her return to singapore...wish can see her on 24 dec..as well as mass too...wanna spend time wif her..tink thats it...better go do my gundams...try blog tomorow.

smile for ur lover but hate this day.

2008-12-11T19:48:00.002+08:00

Hey people...back again ><...well today wasnt so bad =)...woke up early mornign to call her .<..hahax..she sounded so s so cute..when she is sleepy ><...hahax..love her for that..chat wif her for awhile..then asked her to sleep...so did i..hahax..guess i feel asleep..ahhax...but ya...was worth it ><...woke up later n all..watched my chinese shows as usual..hahax...tehn well...studied studied...then play audi!!!hahax..as suual zun zun..she online again ><..ahhax...unbelivable huh?hahax...well..then fo cos played wif he..ahhax...missed her so much le ahahx..then as usual we had our all kinds of chats form sweet chats to jus pure ya...hahax...ahhax..not much to type here today..lol..kinda broing already..this hols was kinda..lame la..ps2 spoilt also..wat am i suppose to do???cant play FFx or FFX-2..tahts damn sad man...more over..i lost some fun already..no ps2..jus left my phone...my t.v n com
Oh wells..cant help it right??hahax...but yup yup...not sure whats on tomorow..guess its gonna be boring again ><...haiz...a few more days left...if she's reading this now she should noe wat i mean...hahax...but ya..anywyas..thnk thats all for now ><..hahax...try to blog tomorrow >

forgiving i hard...forgetting is harder..but loving u has made it all easy.bad day..haiz..

2008-12-08T18:56:00.004+08:00

Heys...wow...been long since i blogged huh?What can i say???not really cos i no mood..more off...how i say...ya basically...not good days actually...sure there were times when i had loads of fun and a good day..but...this few days???not soo good...haiz...i really hate myself sia....cant i make things right for once???today...wasnt so bad actually...called my darling in the morning....great...but being over concern...i asked if she was alright..then it happened...i opened my big mouth n said somehting which of cos..i dun tink i should put it here since she still mad at me...that ticked her off...really...whats worse??i caused spite to holly too...i mean ya...cant i jus shut up n dun do anythign worng for once??everything is like going wrong seriously....last week worst the worst so far...in 7 days...i fot with her...for ike wat???3 consecutive days...i mean..ya...and all it was about???as usual...my tendency of going agianst the one i so very love..i cant say its a guy thing...sure it is..to u noe...do a lil more then wat ur lover wants but..i guess i overdid it...my mood went hey-wire...i even spoke in the way i promised myself never to speak her...i spoke in a ery very serious but...hurtful tone..i dont know..if its cos..of my music...u noe the syaing of 'music is food for ur soul???yeah...my love for metal went to a new drive...a sexual but yet brutal metal...and i tot my mind was corrupted enuf..maybe i should take break from metal...maybe???it may be the cause of why i lost my temper so easily..i love her so very much...but my emotions drives me...haiz...called her like..half an hour ago..she's still mad at me...i dun blame her..she's got a guy..who lover her very very much...but can gte on a girls nerves u noe???she asked if i could ever change...i would love to..but it takes time ryt??i really really hope..she can smile n be happy tonight..or at least..tomorow..cos i now i got this habit of calling her in the morning...i noe...bad tme to disturb a grils sleep huh?but thats the only time when i can talk wif her...maybe thats why she so cranky..i guess..i gotta speak nicely n have my patience again tomorow..i really hope she fine..before i go...here's something i want to say to my darling since i cant speak to her now.
To my sweetie:
I am sorry...that i was to much for u..i am sorry..i noe that u love me alot alot..thanks for that..i promise never to abuse that love of urs...i dun wanna see u ever cry again ok sweetie??it hurts me very much...i noe that i am the cos of ur sadness..thats why u noe im trying already...to control myself..its always n has been for ur sake...i cant promise u that i can stop totally no..but i can promise u..that i wll be there for u n be always loyal to you...u can count on that..you have always been the most valuable to me...its always u who drives me on and never gives up on me...i am lucky...no very very lucky to have u...please darling...if u can...form ur bottom of ur heart...forgive ur boyfriend and let it pass..i am not gonna risk our realtionship again...if ur reading this in the night...u hope i have made ur nightto let u sleep tight and soundly and have a good night sweetie.if ur reading this in the morning...i hope i had made ur morning to enjoy ur day.basically...i am sorry for my behaviour and i really hope we alrgiht sweetie.i love u very much.

alrights thats all for today.

my cinderella sits on the silvery moon.aiwating my presence to dance wif her like fork n spoon through burning hay.

2008-10-29T21:52:00.002+08:00

Hey people.....today wasnt so bad...haiz...lets see..woke up kinda early..had to ICA..lol...had to make passport to go for my thailand trip nxt monday...lol OMG!!im gonna miss her la...zzz...haiz...least i get to talk to her :).ahhax..but she wasnt fine..i cld tell..i hope that she is...hmmm...then well..ate ice cream...then went home...then used com...geez...i miss her la....:(...how i wish she was here man...geez...anyways...today is well..ok i guess...talked wif frens on9 agian...wated for audi to be done..lol..but still not yet...haiz...then comes to now...i read her nick for msn...she got brain cancer???i mean..is she joking???if she sint..then..im shock...but i still wun leave her...if she did lose her memory...i will remind her...i will...no matter wat happens..i will stick with her..even if it means...doing smthing...which i have to give up...but i am willing t do it...cos i will never leave her...i wun..i cant..i musnt...i love her to much...i realised that...loving her is like...the gothic romance poem i wrote abt...it seems so similar..if my darling has an illness i will take care of her..even if it means breaking the promise i made to my parents..now darling if ur reading this..plz...dun blame urself..cos i still love u..dun do anything stupid ok???jus love me as u do n i will do the rest :).....hmms..thats all for now..cant write so much now...zzz...my bro is here.so...yupz..will msg her later bah..zzz...

its time to shed wat i have n destroy everyone in my path..

2008-10-28T21:22:00.002+08:00

I am so not myself today...jesus...what the hell's wrong with me???everything's going wrong agian...EVERYTHING....why is this happening to me???was it wat i did in the past,present???y aint god just giving me a chance to let me live my life as a normal person???cant he jus let me off once wif a normal day??to be honest..i wann die..seriously..but i got only one person who makes me live..but yet..i do this to her...everyone says im cheating on her....why???is it cos they dun understand wat i am???who i am??what i did so many years ago that even if someone stabs me..i'll just laugh in their face n kill them???y cant i just tell her the truth???the truth of wat i am...???why???its so hard to tell her...to tell her that her boyfren has smthing..smhting..jus smthing that he even is afraid of..smthing that will wrecj MY life...n my lover's life..i will saty on wif her..i dun care...even of ots means she has to noe..i lover her still...but i tink even she tinks that im cheating on her...why is god being so unfair???y am i the only kid in sg who gets this???i mean...why???even joann's sister is suay to be born on her month but look..she aint getting anything..well as i...born on saint smtings b'dae..i hold the cross of god n the up turned one of him...why m i stuck in between???now my darling has to suffer for it..she loves me so much but yet...i...he...god...am doing this to her...i promised her i will change..cant i just change for her sake???i am willing to die for her...n she noes that...i tink...im not going to care anymore..like wat she said on her blog...she wants to the risk wof me..then i will let it all go...in this wolrd..no one noes me anymore..but i will let joann noe me...for we have only one life in this world..i wont want to spoil it..i cant change the lifes of other ppl or their tots of me..but i will let them noe..that i aint noe flirt,cheater or anything which will hurt my darling..my commitment has been set...if everything is going well...everyone will hate me..n im fine wif that..jus as long as joann noes that i still love her..

IMY so much:(!!!!!!

2008-10-27T22:51:00.002+08:00

Hey ppl...long time nvr blog le...OMG...there's smthing worng wif my me o.o
Y am i using this???gah...im jus being stupid...miss her so much already :(...haiz/....well least get to talk to her for awhile on msn :D...hahax...jus came back from k like ystd..zzz..miss camp but was glad to be home!!!!got my t.v,ps2,frens....and all..hahax...but i kinda miss camp..my CIs,the soft but yet wet pulau ubin soil,the PTs...ah...the shiokness of doing bridge on the foyer!!!hahax...lemme see...got piared wif rabi!!!no!!!!!but nvm..was kindsa fun aniwaes..well bak to today...wok up at 11 plus cos well...sum1 msged me to say we had to talk..so i called her...n we did talk...n yeah after that msged my sweetie xp..hehex...guess i kinda used to calling her sweetie liao..lol...but yupz..after that went on9 msn...talk wif ayeshah...jeannie,shanice,meiyin..etc..shant name all..since i scared my darling see this blog entry xp!To my darling:'i love u still okay!!!u are always the one whom i love sweetie :D'.hahax...then play audi for awhile..uh-oh...forgot..my darling will get jealous since i play audi but nvm :p..hehex...least her acc is fine..since i lazy do license myt as well help her bah..lol...time to be a gd audi bf too :p..hahax..then i went to kallang..breakdanced wif adi n others...came back kinda late...then ate.....MY CUTE NEPHEW came over!!!hahax...then well pplayed soccer..like omg...hw un-troy ryt?lol but had to since its sum mum ask frens daughter over to play..n wat did the biatch ask to play???soccer...mean like wth la...tot she ask at least like smthing girlsih like er...i do her nails or smhting...lol.but at least i broke sweat..lol..but yeah...jess n i were good..lol...but i got to say..sg girls nw getting better in soccer already..like..wah..but yeah..wat to expect from her???a crazy duaghter of bitch..hahax..then well...as usual look true my phots n notes form my darling but being such a nosy...jess saw to..UGH!but yeah at least she say my darling vry pretty xp..hehex...cos its so true...geez y cnat she accpet that she is pretty???lol..y mus girls say that they not pretty lei..haiz..she tryingt o make me say that she is to noe that i still love her/??lol...but i dun mind saying though cos ITS THE TRUTH!!!!hahax...well then came to now lor..msning...blogging..then well yeah wished my darling good nyt!!hahax...k ah better end here..try blog tml then :)
tctc ppl

2008-10-13T10:52:00.004+08:00

fck la.....haiz....feel so crappy now...oh..mroning ppl...haiz...as u can see this past few days hasnt been fine..i miss my darling so much..yet...i dont noe wats wrong wif me...jus msg her jus now that will call her at 11.30 n onwards..parents jus left...at least now i am alone...finally can listen to my metal songs again..i so need it...my heart feels so terrible now..haiz...yesterday was kinda of a bad day....some1...had to spoil my day by saying..by in a way blaming me..for all the things that i have done..i admit that its my fault...but y cant the person jus give it up start a new like we jus met???i had been so persistent...but giving her frank attitude...seems impossible for us...haiz...even being frens again is bullshit to her...she siad i hurt her..but wats she doing to me now is even worse..i guess wat she said is true...but i have change..cant she see that?wait i forgot...she ignored me for over dunno how many months after since i got together wif my sweet girlfriend...now all i can live on is my sweet girlfriend..haiz..i cant wait any longer..so need call joann now :(...onli she can make me feel better..so need hug her sia...plus since my mind is in such swirl i forgot if tomorow got sch or not...haiz...if have i wan meet my darling sia..miss her soooo much :p!!!!well im trying to be happy now..partibhan on9 lol...he asking for guitarist :p...lol

try blog again later...lol...
tctc ppl

2008-10-04T09:11:00.002+08:00

morning people...been quite long since i blogged huh???well its cos didnt get to use the com much..anyways life has been suckish..as usual..now exams are coming on and i just feel like dying...k fine not die..but just get out of this dimension...many things happened..alot actually...summary so far...10% i was happy...90% i feel like just running away..not literally but ya..u get what i mean...this monday is my chem paper and guess what???i aint meeting her on monday cos i wake up late >.<...oh wells..i dont know why but i have this feeling that she hates me now..i mean...like..ya...what can i do??i messaged her last night n no reply..obviously she made me worry but hey..i cant change her right?i feel like telling her something i wanted to last night but i just couldnt..i didnt want her to know.....and i ask myself..am i doing the right thing???i still love her and all..but there is just something i want to tell her..i dont noe if its good or bad to her..but all i noe is..if i still keep this inside....it makes me feel so damned screwed..should i message her today???i dont know...if she really is angry at me...what can i do???if i call..she may mistake it thats my mum and start messaging hate messages when it was actually me trying to call her....now i feel so empty inside..i am suppose to go out today but i just dun feel like it...cos i noe if i do..i give that same old face of discontent and everyone will ask whats wrong and i'll start crying again...i love her so much but there is a price to pay..but i am willing to take it...but i guess now its too much to bear...in no time i'll break...if i dun..it shows i got some heart made of steel or something...and my love is really everlasting..i shall put myself to the test i guess...i am going to strive..even if she hates me now..i will love her always..

blah blah blah blah blah.........my worlds go tumbling down..again...

2008-09-11T16:14:00.002+08:00

Haiz....im so damn upset now....i dont noe y...jus came back from an outing wif her...geez...can anything go wrong today???haiz...as a matter a fact...it has...already germaine chua go confiscate my fren fone while msging joann..geez...so hate "miss chua' now...haiz but wat to do???im a guy who jus have no more luck in my life...yes there is hope...but hope fails me times when i need it..
oh well...wat can i say?god gave me chances but i gave it away......haiz....my sweet angel is online now....but i jus cant tok wif her....nt cos my parents r at home.they aint..more of...i want too..but shld i???i miss her sooo much...but there's someone here wif me now...i miss my darling soooo much seh...agh!forget it im jus gonna tok wif her...hopefully my parents dun come back soon.try post later.

tc tc.

wat a "wonderful' day

2008-08-25T19:04:00.002+08:00

Haiz....sup people..been long since i updated huh?well wat to do?my life is screwed up once again...jesus...cant he ever gimme sum gd days???wat's worse..im stuck sumwhere n here i am using the com..stupid day..haiz..well at least tis morning was great..got to see my beloved darling :)..at least that puts a smile on my face for just awhile..i hope i can see her again tomoro morning..i miss her so so so sooo much!!!!gaahhh!!!stupid com!lagging..hate it!!haiz..well guys as u noe nw today my bdae n u noe my wishes..n having a gd day IS SO ON MY LIST!but im nt getting it :(...haiz...wat to do..at least i gt a wonderful present from my love..really made me smile..so lemme see my wish for this year is actually quite simple..its:(having my fone back this wednesday permanantly so i can msg my love n see her again wiithout my parents noeing n having a better relationship with her).yup simple..so wat i basically want is my relationship to get better...guys,i dont want to talk abt wat happen..u guys shld noe..u noe the old me the being foolish BUT YET loving boyfren i am..gt into trouble..yeah..girls of last year shld remeber wat im talking abt..yup...but ya..hopefyllu god can give me a better relationship wif my darling..i really need it..i want to have a better relationship..i want to..cos she really means alot to me..
Well thats all for now...im kinda tired of using the com at a..yes finally i admit..a 'lanshop'..k fine..fren hse...yeah.geez she's so irritating!!!!gahh wanna go home but frens making me stay for my bdae surprise :(!!!i hope its nthing stupid or lame..IM SO NT IN THE MOOD NOW...onli my love can make me feel better.
Gtg nw then..have a gd nyt people...

will i ever live long enough to guide myself?

2008-08-17T11:53:00.002+08:00

Well...today shld be a happy day for me right?Today is my 4th month wif my darling joann..haiz..but i dont know y i'm still breaking inside...haiz..its nt cos of her..that i noe...geez..y am i so so so....emotionally weak seh..damn!i hate myself now..uh-oh..jus made a sin..cant hate myself..BUT WHO CARES!haiz...gaahhh one msg her now lah..but im still out..using frens com now..geez....soon playing audi i guess...plus having lunch soon...that's all for now...i guess...i try comem back type more bah
tc tc

times and troubles...

2008-08-13T15:11:00.003+08:00

Hey people...been long time since i blog huh???yupz...thanks to all the crap i've been going through....now i'm currently at my darling's house...now..u'll ask i sound or should i say...type damn sadly..well cos i am sad...i dont noe why either...i should be happy right???not really....today was quite crapped...had biology and e maths tests today...both in which i screwed up...haiz....and like what??befor im suppose meet my darling go her house..i suppose to have a lil..ya...u noe what i mean....but yeah...frens cldnt meet up but its ok...haiz...now today...my darling say she wan act a lil lian lei..haiz...well i dun mind actually...but im afraid smthing may go wrong..i mean....sure she's the type that wun comekao pei wif other people..but wat if other kao pei lei???then how???haiz...but ya that
s life..already in our close to four months...she kana by sum guy liao....thank god the guy nt from east seh...or else surley make problem one....than lidat mus kol dunno who all come down...but ya...in any case...i'll always support her...still love her very very dearly..ok i tink that's enough about my tots of her...lemme see...ah...last night i tok wif joreen..hahax..been long time since i talk wif her...cant believe that she still remebers me..hahax...well at least today had a good turn..jie come msg me again..im so glad that she' nt angry with me anymore :)...
Well that's it for now....there's still so much to do...i try use my com tonight :)

tc tc.

wow...wat fun day...

2008-08-02T19:11:00.002+08:00

Hahax...yay!i cant believe that i can use com again :)!!hahax..hmms...today was damn fun :D!!!!lemme see...damn still coughing..ok...ermz...this morning,went to polycinic :(!!!!*sobs*....waited like wat???2 and a half hours jus to see the doctor!!!damn...then wat???oh ya...saw someone today :D!!!!hahax..cant believe she was in the polyclinic with me XP..hahax..then slack slack...then my darling joann msg me :)!!!OMGAH!!!i miss joann soooooooooo much...had a vry good week thanks to her lor..i miss miss miss her so so so so so soooooooooo much!!!!at least i can see her tomoro :).then yup can go out with her..have lunch than go for my con class for a...ermz...how i put this???...ya a sex talk..damn..i scared sia....hahax..well thats all for now..

tc tc people :)

i dont know how i feel right now..crap...

2008-07-07T13:05:00.003+08:00

I dont know what to post here right now...been days since i posted..guess things been fine..went out wif joann this couple of days..in a way at least...whoooppiiee...now its youth day..GGGGAAAAHHHHH SCREW THIS STUPID DAY!!!!!i hate it it!!!!i dont know whats my problem now...i dont know if i shld jus let thngs be..or just die right now...i wish singapore could just have a metal concert just once..i think all the hatred i have would be gone..haiz.....m so mixed up with feelings right now...even i dont know if i shld call my most preacious angel right now...looks like i guess my days are numbered....i hope that before i die or anything happens to me..i pray sincerely..that i can have my most preacious moments with my darling joann...shes so sweet to me..always..n yet i repay her sweetness with bitterness at times..i wonder whats wrong with me...to me...it seems like as though god's trying to test me...of cos with satan n his legions of course...seems like the pain n burden i bear...is slowly awakening...i have always promised her..that i'll lover her till i cant..i decided to make that promise true..after all..if the words someone said is true...i better make my relationship with joann the best i and she can..ever have....
Enough about my reflection already...haiz..still aint cheered up..geez...i miss my darling so so so so so so so sooooooo much!!!!!!gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!wanna hug her right now...feel so down...i guess i have to make my promises n her dreams coem true..i ahve too...i faield in my other relationships..i dont want her to be the last n the most dead n dry one...joann's b'dae is coming in 2 months n 27 days time..looks like i gotta make it emorable for her...gotta try again..

guess that's all i have to say....nothing much about today..jus msn..listen music..blah blah...
have a good day people..

GO POLISH GIRLS!!!!!!pure randomness!!!I LOVE MISAKO...smthing smthing!!!

2008-06-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

GWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!sorry people!!m kinda high now..hahax!!!idk y but my post title jus...weird..ok abt polish girls...is kinda cos of behemoth!!!hahax...that bitch is hot!!!hahax...mmm....jsu cld tatse her ryt now...hehex...BUT my gurl still better!!!!hehex...love her loadz luh..went out wif her today!!!yay!!!n...!!!!she came over!!!yay for me!!!hahax..so yup..jus the usual talks..cos i gt my chem projs to do n all..hehex...but we still had fun :p....but yeah..u noe wat fun guys :)..no funny ideas people..she innnocent...n u noe i dun force innocent gurls...hehex..but yeah so todays was kinda good..went out wif jo after my lil session wif her..hmms wat else???we had our lil dear to dear walk..hehex...kinda missing that now...hahax..then yeah went to library cos she was FEELING damn hot...hahax..so let her relax in the air con while i read up on my chem book on zircon oxide..hahax..had a lil proj on that..then yeah my dear was kinda kapoh so she looked but yeah from her face i cld tell she didnt understand a word :p..hahax..then yeah for her sake we went off cos it was getting late..so we walked up to a bench there n sat down..n guess wat???we took pics together!!!ahhax..hw weird of me i noe..but wat to do??i wanted to please her..so nw i gt like wat???2 pics of my darling n two fotos of us together :p...yeah..went back home n yupz relaxed n use com...saw her online n all..n yeah..sad my mood swing came back..so i logged off...then i played ps2..which made my nyt..was kinda happy...then i decided to u noe...yeah...u get the idea guys..nw..m toking wif frens...n one of them is khaleedah..hahax..well..at least we're fine nw???hope we are..
that's all i have to post...have a gd nite people :)

tc tc

play soccer,rugby..n..6 pacs(memory)??ahhax..in ur dreams!!maybe..

2008-06-11T20:41:00.005+08:00

*moon walks to this post*....Heyyss people :)!!!hahax....kinda happy today as u can see :)!!!USING PINK!!!cos my darling loves pink mah...*ponders*:'hmms...got any pony background anort arhz????..'hahax...feeel damn high now..hahax!!jus for ur info m watching a damn hot n insane vid :D!!!kekekekeke..as uausal being my horny self....m tinking abt yeah...u get the idea...video ->horny ->fantasies of yeah xp..ehhex...but well heres my today's 'report'...lemme see...i woke up at 12...had to bathe to go my aunts house..geez..was suppose to wake up earlier..but yeah...had a wonderful talk wif my beloved girlfren :)(I LOVE YOU!!!)ahhax!!!n yupz as usual she makes horny...BUT!!!last nyt was an EXCEPTIONLY horny convo..(darling..if ur reading this..u noe y i say that last nyt was a damn horny convo :p)hehex...but yeah continuing..reached me aunts house abt 2...watched me korean show..hahax...played wif me nephew..n yupz went to the park wif him :)!!!now...while at the park...there was this european lady who went upp to me n asked me;'can u play wif my son???'...i was like wtf...but ok..had to obliged her ryt???so i did..now...i tot the son was like wat???primary school..but NOOOOOOOO...was a 5 year old kid named riaz...wat we played???SOCCERR!!!!haiz..as u all noe i hate soccer...but yeah had to enteratin the lil fella..so i had this 'soccer session' with him....hahax...damn i was sweating cos it was fun..nt soccer but playing wif the boy :p..hahax...then yeah at the playgorund..did my pull ups..gaaahhhh!!!can only do 3 :'(..sobs...can still pass nafa(if i was 15 on the month of april or smthin..)but yeah had to train ryt???THANKS TO SUM PERSON(shant metion the barnicle...)she had convinced me to get 6 packs..i mean...seriously...why???why must u push me to get 6 packs???its nt like as though ur gonna feel it wat...gaahhh...but a promise is a promise...good news o my ex work out frens cos they'll see me soon...but seriously people..this better be worth it..damn..at least the barnicle nvr ask me go for rugby ryt???hahax..but i dun mind actually..putting ur head under sum perosn's ass...ahhax..tat is if ur not the flanker..m considered 'good' for second row..least i can run AND tackle people..haiz..looks like if i do join rugby..my side steps gonna be my life saviour!!!hahax..hmms thats it for the afternoon..well i did call my dear for awhile...hahax..tats gd enuf for now..but i gonna kol her soon..again..hahax...
well that's it for now..geez..i still gt work to do..sads..oh wells..i'll pull t6his day to an end n try to have a good night :)!!ahhax..k uh...shall stop here for tonight..have a gd nyt people :)!!

oh b4 i go a few words/ sentences to the barnicle:
Firstly..when i promised u that i'll get 6 packs..I DIDNT MEAN IT cos,
1.u didnt shake my hand
2.remember the deal we made a few years ago(which u made the omos the same deal wif me again wt???few days ago????)the me,6 packs,u belly-dancing??

3.if u forgot even if u didnt...U STILL havent fufilled that promise yet!!!!

in conclusion:i'll see if i wld get :p..hahax..but fine..i may get cos it's for the benfit of my gurl???hahax.

k luh this time i really end fof..hahax!!!
nites...

ME..?????A leader?????o..k....lame face

2008-06-09T19:24:00.003+08:00

Heyss people :)!!!Not a bad day today so far...since this morning i had LMC(leadership and mentoring course) for my NPCC stuff...have to attend this as its a criteria to become at seargent and above...so here's form the top.....
5.32:Time when i suppose wake up..but didnt....
6.20:Time when i REALLY woke up...then bathed...balh blah....
Well...from there i can guess wat's next????hahax..i just when n walked a lil while towards another bus stop n took a bus to my school...met up wif a few frens of mine(namely...myles,imran etc..) n took a bus towards tkgs n droped of there...walked towards goodman road n towards chung cheng high main..halfway walking thru...the houses there were BIG!!!i tell u...BIG!!!hahax...so fun...frens n i tried to play here n there near the house and all..but yeah we didnt..jus walked on n on..until the main gate of chung cheng.
Now when we reached there..it looked like CHINA!!!hahax...cos gt all those chinese temple style buildings u noe...its like the buildings looks old on the outside but i tell u..inside was damn nice!!!they had a nice lake(people called it a pond...i dunno why...it was like damn big luh..)
In the school found rabi in full-u n ayeshah too...rabi acting retarded...as usual..me n the rest changed into full-u n slacked until the group of tkgs came..tat's where i felt damn scared..cos she was there..yupz..my ex,khaleedah was there..was shocked to see her when i was pushing rabi out off thebuilding when i caught a glimpse of her..i quickly zaoed back..i wonder if i really am afriad to see her...m i????gaahhh idk luh but the rest of the day was good..split into grouos,had lectures n activities,took of rabi(as usual) n yeah..trying to ignore khaleedah..seems like she was erious when she said she wants nthing wif us anymore..nt even frens...haiz..besides that..it was all fine..
Sometimes..i really wonder if i was stupid,fooolish or watever...but heyss..at least she's happy n im happy :)
That's it i guess..have a gd night..will post tomoro..hopefully...

tc tc

YAY for church camp!!!

2008-06-08T17:48:00.002+08:00

Heyss people!!!hahax...jus came back home...finally!!!hahax...so overall this week was fun..hahax...form monday till friday morning was unit n nco camp!!hahax..gd fun..hahax...unit was great as i saw my lil sec1 n my sec 2 cadets/frens n lead them!!yay!!hahax...but quiet hard seh...lots of pumping..but still good..nco camp was damn stress...way loads of pumping..pt was good though...woc was nt bad..but i tink i screwed up :(!!!oh wells...ut shld be able to pass ryt???hahax..hope so..but the best person there was sir adill!!!hahax..aka my H.O!!!he rox luh...so funny luh he...n his PT rox aaaallllll the waaaayyyy!!!hahax..but damn tiring..but good!!!then on friday morning..went home n changed then go meet my darling joann!!!!BEEN LIKE 5DAYS since i saw her lor...hahax...but yupz...church camp was quiet great...gt nice songs...1st day was kinda icr breaker stuff...second day gt mass..n guess wat???i cried!!!cos my parents wrote me a heart warming letter..geez...i tot i wldnt cry seh..oh wells then 3rd day was going home!!!yay!!!but the first nyt i gt colgated!!no!!!!!hahax..but 2nd nyt i sdtayed awake all nyt n played tati!!n 'gossip' abt gurls..kekekekekeke..n my darlign was at my church camp!!!yay for me!!!hahax...then yeah..today in the morning..woke up..bathed n singed songs..had the prayer of worship thing n yupz..went back o church then had a nice lunch wif my dear!!!hahax..went siglap wif her n i saw my ah yi seh..hahax..so scary but joann's face more cute luh..like she damn shock..hahax..had kfc..n she finally ate!!!hahax..tat's all so far i guess..toking wif audre n her nw on msn..hahax..update tomoro or sthin bah...lazy add anything else liao..hahax...

tc tc people...

Desires of me..death..hatred..time to die..

2008-06-01T17:33:00.003+08:00

Haiz.....looks like i lost it....he's gt me today...

things that happen today:

Well at first it wasnt so bad...woke up at 9..played castlevania..crap i died at lvl 11..stupid red ogre...gah...then played romance of the three kingdoms X..but lagged..gah...then called my dear...nt so bad...had quite a gd..suppose be toking wif her now..but as u noe..i cant post while toking on fone..wat's worse..i saw smthin jus nw..which broke my heart...because of that..i say that satan has gotten me good today..maybe it was a mistake ot ever begin wif it..nw im tinking abt it...my desires of her r great but...satan...is pulling me n gave the tots of losing her..by wat he said..i really dunno now...to leave her or not..i love her..but yet..there r things pulling me apart...desiree,michelle,sarah...gah my most craped people..WHY must they do this to me???nw jenny's playing on youtbe nw..good song to affect my mood...idk y..used to sing it for michelle...gah..stupid luh she...continuing abt her...i decided to stick to her..split second decision huh?but i mean it...i have to take the pain which all those who has cursed,sweared,hate n even...love me..i will forske those times of which satan has got me..for nw..my priority is joann..tat's all..my girlfriend,the one i love,my guardian angel...

to my love:
Dear..if u do see this..im sorry but i jus feel so down nw..but yet..when i'm going to call u i'll sound normal cause the tot of u always makes me smile..even when u have ur..stuff..yeah...i jus wanna say that'll i'll always love u..n be there for u..when we're on the fone..jus..try nt to ask abt this post..cos it's kinda confusing..n hard to explain...wat im facig nw..is horrible..war aginst god n satan..onli u r my only source of love n help..i will never want to lose u..

Thats all i have to say for this post i guess...tomoro's my camp..for five days i cant speak to her..gahg..have to live it but at least i can see her after my camp :)!!but gt church camp luh..can be wif her for three days...but i cant totally be wif her...k uh going to call my love ryt now..

tc tc

YAY for cosplay xp!!!

2008-05-25T20:40:00.003+08:00

Heyss people!!!hahax!!!hope u all had a good day!!!Cos i quiet did..hehex...today...i went suntec city!!!yay!!!hahax...nt jus go shopping but for COSSSSPPPPLAAYYYYYY!!!!hahax...k luh more like street fest but yeah...still gt people dress in coustumes man...cool seh... wore punk/gothic...yupz..wat to do?hahax!then i met joann n her fren nichole..hhahx...so fun go out wif them!!!well today was basically walking arnd get cameras in ur faces n *snap*!!!hahax!so funny...fun fun fun...joann gt quiet alot of attention..hahax...wat do u expect from a pretty gurl like her??hahax...nichole was ok luh...gt quiet a gd talk wif her...n she n joann are...twins????NO LUH!!!jus say say one cos they both have same b'dae mahz..hahax!shock me when i heard tat!oh oh oh!btw..i forgot to mention tat today the first date i gt wif joann seh..hahax..plus first outing wif her!!!hahax...so in a way...it was a gd date today...though we didnt nt have much time..but it's still good :p!!!at 4.30 or so...when bus stop wif joann n nichole..gotta go church..yupz..for confirmation mass..hahax!but yeah...from there gt a lil bit boring...cos i emoed in church...sobs..but still ok lor...when i met maya,alanna n jillian...GOD!!!they comment on my eyeliner!!hahx...geez...think cos i look gay seh...but yeah it looked nice to me...hehex..k uh tat's it i guess..but i do regret nt taking pics wif the cosplay people..haiz...but my fone is still "filled"(in a way) wif pics of joann,nichole n the cosplay people!!!hahax!well that's it for today :)!!!hahax..will post tomoro i guess...

tc everyone!!!

day of weirdness...sadness...regretness..

2008-05-23T21:20:00.002+08:00

Heyss people...gt nthin much to say...today's finally the mark of the june hols!!!YAY!hahax...tat's good i guess...well...after school..went back home..then change then go out wif jemimah,holly n samantha go tampiness mall...wasnt so bad...they went look for gifts while i..????jus tag along..hehex..but ok lor...at first sam's jus like...emoing in a way uintil we ate..when jem n sam said sry to each other..for wat???i oso dunno but gd still :D!!Then after wards...went jem's hse!!!hahax...was funny....later nick came into her hse...had fun there..lolx..was relaxign while the three randomed each other...weird but ok!!the yupz..jem n nick had fun infront of sam...god so funny!!!holly took a vid...damn stupid...but yupz overall tat afternoon was ok...went home at abt 6.30..reached home at 7 plus..then went to see my jonas..hehex...my nephew damn cute luh...today jus learnt hw to say rice..hahax!then yeah...msged khaleedah...didnt replied even till now..i tink she hates me..hiaz....wat to do...m toking wif ayeshah nw..hahax..will post tomoro i guess...damn!in the morning got parent n cher meeting seh...hope i gte gd somments form me chers n i hope i i pass my exams man!!!wish me luck people :)!

tc n have a gd night!

geblah geblah....pure randomness

2008-05-18T17:41:00.002+08:00

Heysss people :)!!!hahax...seems like my mood quite good today huh????hahax..i guess so...been gd days so far...but my exams want tat good..haiz...but nvms :)..least mum n dad didnt bicker to much....so yup yup..well today is nt so bad so far...but a fren of mine sounds sad today..haiz....trying to help her out...but seems my counselling sux so yeah...wat to do????jus help whenevr i can i guess..well that's all i gotta say for nw i guess...probably post later..gd day people..

a funny day xp

2008-05-11T20:07:00.002+08:00

Heyss people :)!!!hahax..been quite a long day today xp.geezz...but today wasnt that bad quite good :)..hahax...here's hw it was in short..was there at abt 12.20...brandon n his bro welcomed me...we played army of two or smthin on his ps3(damn...not fair :()..wat else..oh ya his fren came..meyvan..tok wif him...kenta n fren,kiranna or smthin lidat came oso..we ate sake sushi as lunch..hehex..listen to meatl all the way till abt 3...called joann at 2 plus..hahax!at 3...this gurl name audre came..she was tkgs *shocks*...damn seh huh?
so obviously i full kia tok wif her abt khaleedah n all...then came the sub of elsa xp...hahax..gt audre's num n all..haiz..felt so playish lor..continued toking wif her till abt 3.30..then met jie...for awhile wif her fren ray..hahax..damn he funny xp..hahax...k uh nt much to say today..oh wells...will post tomoro :)

tc tc everyone

The days of sorrow,vehmence comes to an end..for now..

2008-05-11T09:12:00.003+08:00

Heyss people :p!!!been llong time since i posted huh???got exams what.oh wells..hope i did well though.i did studied quite hard for all of them(k fine...besides maths paper 2 n phy)...but yeah still hope will nt fail any subs!!!hahax...as form my title..i guess it is true..my sorrows n vehemence comes to an end..for now..cos m.y.e finish already!!!yay i guess..n june hols coming..BUT!!!!! Got 4 camps seh...so..irritating..AAARGGGHH!!!nt fair..haiz...oh wells...at least lidat i can keep myself away from troubles!!!well so updates since 25 paril...ermz...days wasnt so bad..gt my fone confiscated on1st may..but gt it back so i'm happy :).love life is good hahax..so random put that down..sorry xp..hmms...wat else...ermz...oh ya!gt a party today!!!hahax!!but it's a sch mates party..hahax...still fun i guess xp!but most prob i'll be going out n zao the party from say..2.30?????oh wells..but mus at least spent time wif the b'dae boy(brandon xp) so yupz!!!!damn...i'm joining his..or shld i say our sch roller-bladin/cycling club..so lazy but wanna lose weight xp..k luh i aint fat but..being a leg person..gt to train my legs again :D!!!hahax...since after exams been playing devil may cry 3..hahax..for frens who're here who dunno wat's devil may cry 3(come on glen..i noe ur on..dun lie to urself u noe wats that...n for other frens to!!!HA!)..is well...a fun game basically..i dun wanna make this post like a DMC3 walkthrue..hahax!but yeah abt DMC..it's been fun but IT WAS SO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!so irritating but still fun :p!!!hahax..k uh..tink i gtg nw..the party starts at 12.30 but wanna be there early xp!

tc everyone!!!will try to post again soon!!!!

SAtan and his legions:666..Me: ZZZZEEEEERRRROOOOO!!!!

2008-04-24T09:37:00.003+08:00

Heyss peolple :p!!!Hope you all had a nice 4days :)!!!Sadly i did not though...haiz..ok firstly before i start this entry right..the reason why i am on at 9 plus in the morning cos there's no school for me :p!!!yay...at least got one thing to be happy about :)....well...kks basically my days were ok..great..but not better than that sadly xp..it came to a stop yesterday..when i u noe..msged a paticular someone that i cant be with her cos u noe i gt another person..well yeah...looks like i screwed big time...looks like she had/has the right to hate me forever..i rather be it that way than see her be sad n all cos of me..haiz..damit seh...am i destined to be hated by all girls or smthing???Oh wells...i just hope that she'll have a better life now :)..k...so abt today...nthing much really...ga bua send mummy go dentsit..yay for me cos i can use com :p..kekekekeke..but i still care abt my mummy ok!!!hahax...jus finsihed watching a vry vry vry educational programme on the com xp..oh trust me when i say educational..it is..unless if ur a girl then yeah..u may n may not nt noe those stuff that i've learned today..at least now i noe y gurls have their er...ok nvms forget it...cant go into to much detail..tat's just..sick..yupz...but the programme was funny to...made me laugh dunno wat..guess it's guys humour..wells tomoro's my eng exams :'(!!haiz..betetr get reading n study for me other subbies :)..k uh will post as soon as possible.
Do tc everyone :).

The day when I kill it all

2008-04-20T16:38:00.002+08:00

Heyss people :p!!!Been quite awhile..since i updated my blog..hahax...woops!!!bo time mah...well lemme give u n overall view on hw's the week so far...just two words..not bad :p!!hahax..but so far...best day was friday!!!!cause i went out wif my ex-classmates of chai chee!!!YAY for me!!!!hahax...been awhlie since i went out with them n this time there was sec2 person there..hahax...no offence to her tho...jus saying jus saying..well abt today...gd i guess...tho i'm a lil..er...how to say..affected???is tat the ryt word???i dunno but yeah...abt what happen last night...more like what a paticular person said to me last night...oh wells..like they say...when u tink ur over ur ex...u jus..aint...yupz..oh wells...damn now tis person i'm toking with says that i cant settle down withe jus one girl...damn!feel like..ahh...nevermind..guess she's right aniwaes..why cant i jus stick to one girl and have a happy..say...a year or smthin???haiz...but at least now i can study better...right???OH WHO AM I KIDDING!!!I CANT FREAKING STUDY WITH OR WITHOUT A GIRL IN MY LIFE....haiz...dammit..i so so so so so so so so hate satan right now...stupid bastard...screw my life..haiz...what to do when u play with a guy like satan???oh wells...at least he aint tearing me to bits by now...thankfully...so yeah..continuing abt my day today...was smsed by munirah today..at what..????9???hahax..was to tired so i slept all the way till 10...hahax...i noe nt much of a diff right??hahax...WRONG!!!to me...that's alot of time already...kekekekekekekeke...n YAY for me today...got to play ps2 today n i did 2 n a half hours of e maths 8-)!!!!!!hahax..that's sooooo damn good for me lor..yays...damn i forgot...tomorow i gt parade commanding!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!craps...i suck at it luh...sumore i screwed up on sports carnival day when mr.lak go ask me shout true the mike...damns...i hope i wun be so nervous tomorow...well thats it for now..hahax...have a good day people...

the 7Litre green tea n the lil red truck :p.......

2008-04-11T20:06:00.004+08:00

heeeyyysssss people :)...hahax...guess i'm in a good mood today..though today wasnt good...but it wasnt bad so it's worth to be happy right???yup yup..today school wasnt soooo bad...but TOMOROW GOT FLAG DAY!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!*sobs*!!!!damn leh...what to do???where to go???geez...well at least my day MAY be great after all tomorw cause smthin going to happen tomorow...geez...hope i'm ready for it n i'm not gonna look back :)...hope god's gonna forgive me...hahax...but yupz i still feel so weird...u noe...after wat i said to a particular someone in the morning at the bus stop...did i put my words right????like i said to her...i may n may not consider..haiz...i dunno...i dunno...but yes...i am still contented that i'm friends with her n she's alright..yupz...hope u all had dinner already :)!!!k uh...tink i stop here for tonight...will update tomorow...if possible :)...do take care people :p!!!pray for me that i'll be blessed tomorow for what i am gonna do XD...kekekekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke.oh n yes before i go...i would like to say that me n my ex r great i guess..m getting over her soon :)n she's the 7 Litere bottle(cos she loves green tea n she made me like it n she loves the number 7) n yeah...i'm the lil red truck -_-'''..y???u go parkway parade n see the fourth floor there...beside the pastamania there gt this truck..yeah..u see whats the label..hahax..k uh...i go now..lolx...till tomorow :).

April 10th...4 days after my terror...haiz...

2008-04-10T20:14:00.003+08:00

heyss people....as u can see from my post line...u can tell smthing happen on 7th april...yeah smthing did happen...my gurl broke up with me...hiaz...till nw...been 4 days after that experience...n i aint over her yet...haiz...i dunno what to do...i've told myself to get over her n not think about what i have left behind...but it just...hard...but now she n i r like...in a way...very(according to her) good friends...i just hope that our friemdship is more deeper n more meaningful now...yupz...but the days so far werent so bad...besides my knuckles still hurt after i released my anger on the sch wall n made me bleed on monday...but basically the past few days were emo...but ok i guess..but yeah..yesterday was the worst...i kinda like...picked up smoking sice ysterday...kinda addicted to it...but heys...ill stop smoking...tho i just took like wat..????1 stick..????yeah....that's all foe now i guess....will post soon as possible..do have a goodnight people..take care

Continuation of my bad day...april 6th

2008-04-06T18:45:00.004+08:00

heyss everyone...backs again...as u can see from my heading...todays a bad day...so far....i gt my haircut today for my speechday tomorow n my hair looks kinda weird but never mind that...what made today bad???my tok with my girl...well to be more exact...i didnt talk with her...at least didnt get too...when i want to...haiz...i hope she's alright....hope we both are fine...geez..i feel like calling her now but nevermind :)...a certain sumone told me not to be tooo paranoid so i shall take her words..well...gotta go now...sobs..will write back as soon as possible..do have a good day everyone..

6th april...3rd day on blog..

2008-04-06T15:18:00.003+08:00

Afternoon people...hope ur day been well...as for mine..nt so bad i guess..getting smsed by a fren nw...geez...doesnt he have a life???why must he go sms me n ask me about gurls????geez...oh wells what to do???am still missing my gurl by the way...haiz...hope she'll come on msn soon...if she doesent then well...hope she's fine...damn...still gotta study later...haiz...todays gonna be a bore 4 me...well yeah...will be updating soon...in some hours or so...do have a nice time people..

April 5th...nw i have gt nothing to die for..

2008-04-05T21:58:00.003+08:00

Today's fcked up...tho i did create my blog(yay in a way)...i had kinda a bad day in total...in the morning was fine...tuition was ok...the work was kinda easy n i knew my work...afterwards in the afternoon...con class was fine but the worst was well yeah...at night...tho i did went out wif a fren of mine n accompinied her to bedok station b4 coming back home...i kinda fought wif my gurl...y i had a lil tiff wif her u ask??well it's cos i told her tat i went out wif my fres whos a gurl n yeah...she gt a lil angry cos i've been like u noe...going out with gurls n all...i noe i'm a jerk n all..but yeah...i deserved the mild anger n sadness my gurl had on me..so i stop toking wif her tonight...maybe i'll talk wif her tomorow..i'll see how i feel first...wat's worse???i'm on a time-out with her cos of our m.y.e..yup..this wat's makes me more of a jerk...n yeah..i've a fren whom i still can't tok to her normally like i used too...to be honest i miss those times...she noes who she is n yeah..i thank her for forgiving me but i'm sad because i still cant have my toks wif her anymore...my life's so fcked ryt nw...even my ex(geez hope u aint gonna scold me for tis d.j...) even has her bad times nw...all i wish her is well yeah...gd luck n do wat's best for the both of u..even if its bad in the first look..n maybe in the long run..it'll be useful..well gtg nw..m gonna call a certain fren of mine...do have a pleasent night every1..

MY FIRST BLOG..!!!EVER!!!

2008-04-05T20:35:00.000+08:00

GOSH!!!CANT BELIVE IT....MY FIRST BLOG EVER...WELLS...m kinda anyways..hahax..so tis is how a blog is lyk...well basically...names troy...hahax...tho i tink u'll noe tat as most of u ppl who's gonna view me noe who i am but yeah tis is the sake of ppl who jus come to my blog randomly...kekekeke...m 14 going 15 by the way...m a virgo(virgos rocks alllllll the waaaayyy!!!!)n yeah i apologise if my entries n all r a lil bit crappy cos tis is my first time putting on a blog tho i do keep diaries in secret XD..hahax...well yeah..tat's my first entry i guess..will come back soon to write up on my day...hahax..do take care people..